Marie Wheeler
I loved the Choose Your Own Adventure books when I was growing up. I loved the idea that the book ended different ways dependent on my choices. My choices made my adventure.
Listening to the Nerdist Podcast the other day, I reminisced on this childhood joy. Shirley Manson related a story about advice given to her by a friend: In our youth, we are continuously curious and joyous and have adventures daily, but as adults, we have to cultivate adventure.
Think of your everyday. You wake up and do your morning routine and go to work. You do your job, maybe more than your job, and then return home. You commute home, make dinner, commit some time to a hobby and go to bed. Woohoo! Wait, no adventure there.
So, please don’t think I’m talking about adding impulsivity or danger to your daily life. I am not of the mindset that every day has to be crazy exciting, I truly believe in the comfort of structure and consistency. What I am talking about is finding ways to live outside of your comfort zone and cultivate that sense of awe and wonder in your life. It’s about taking a little time each week to push yourself, to do that thing that causes you to panic a little, maybe something that you fear will make you look stupid.
A boring, but pertinent example: I do a lot of referrals to different agencies as part of my job and am consistently confused by people who tell me they don’t know how to do a referral. My first question is typically, ‘To what agency are you referring the Client?’ Once I get the answer, I simply reply to call the agency and ask about the referral process. Now, I get that may seem unsupportive, but in truth, the referral process is different for each agency and I don’t have all the answers. This is how I became awesome at referrals, I identify the agency and make a call. It’s simple, but something that a lot of people fear because they don’t want to feel or look stupid to someone they don’t know.
A less boring, similarly pertinent example: I have always wanted to feel like an artist, but for most of my life have struggled with a crushing sense of ‘I suck and people will think this is ridiculous’. In high school, I was on the fringe of a clique that loved the bohemian, artsy vibe and I always felt inferior as I couldn’t buy the ridiculously expensive clothes to make me look like an artsy and free person; I think it somehow stuck that if I didn’t have the clothes, I couldn’t be known as creative. Adolescent minds are bizarre. As an adult, I didn’t pay attention to that nagging desire for creativity until an outside force pushed me to do something about it and start creating and putting myself out there; art isn’t about looking cool all the time, it’s about expression and adventure. It’s about getting lost in the passion of creating something you love.
The people who are awesome in this world will accept you for who you are and will support your cultivation of adventure, they will help you find the bits of you that ignite your creativity. Find those people.
Each time you turn the page in your personal adventure, ask yourself if the choice you are making as you flip to the next page is supporting or diminishing your ability to be yourself. Ask yourself if you are choosing safety in the herd or risking vulnerability. Make your choice, choose your own adventure.
